Somerville Classified Listings: Ogre’s Pocket for Rent (2 Rotisserie Bison or Best Offer)

Drug dealer
Photo: © Depositphotos.com/sumners

City rents are bloated.
It’s shameful as hell.
Why not sign a lease
for this ogre’s lapel?
Come live in my pocket;
it’s spacious and clean,
and my blazer’s lining’s
a pleasing sateen.
The thermostat’s stuck
at 98.6 degrees,
but no neighbors to deal with
(not counting the fleas).
Make yourself at home:
mi chest hair es su lawn.
No TV, but sometimes
my phone breast-dials my mom.
Pets and smoking allowed—
but out of respect,
please avoid leaving butts
and cat litter on my pecs.
I care about my tenants,
will never raise rent exorbitantly,
give unexpected bear hugs,
or sleep on my belly.
Please consider my offer
to make a fresh start
nextdoor to my armpit
and close to my heart.

Published in Out of Stock Volume 4

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